2004-07-01 [Yuriona]: That's what we're here for. *hugs* You can't let the 'what ifs' get to you. It's so easy to get yourself all worked up over something that might happen. I know how that is and how terrifying it is. Sometimes all you can do is go one day at a time. My husband is always telling me 'Don't borrow trouble' and I try my best not to. I also understand about the saying the wrong things. It's so hard to tell someone how you feel when you're hurting so much that it's just easier to push them away. It took me years to learn to stop doing that to my husband...though I do still do it from time to time. I'm so glad you found someone to talk to. That's great!

2004-07-01 [Here's where the story ends]: Glad you are looking at your depression positively, Sirfy. *Smiles* It will make you a stronger person at the end. Don't worry yourself about things that are in the future. Try to stay in the moment. I am also glad you found someone to talk to, Sirfy. =). Hopefully your "pair meditation" will go well. I'm sure it will. You want to help yourself and that is excellent. =).

2004-07-01 [Here's where the story ends]: I also can relate to saying the wrong things. It is difficult to let all your emotions out to another person as everyone is worried about being vulnerable. I am glad this wiki is making you feel better. That is what we are here for. =).

2004-07-01 [Jeesum Crowe]: I'm not even gonna try to catch up.

2004-07-07 [nunt]: We're all gonna die eventually, so we might as well try out life first... ok, that's my philosophical comment for the day/week/month, I'll shut up now...

2004-07-07 [Yuriona]: It's a good one [nunt]. I firmly believe that everything we experience happens for a reason, good or bad. It's better to try and roll with the punches and see where life leads you rather than give up and pack it in. ^^ Just my opinion though...

2004-07-07 [nunt]: All that you need to life is food and water and breath, everything else is a bonus...

2004-07-07 [nunt]: I'm not sure about the everything happening for a reason thing. It make it sound like everything is pre-decided for us. I believe we have choice. And out lives are what we make them. If you want your life to change badly, then what's to stop you changing it? I know it's not that easy, but it's possible

2004-07-07 [Jeesum Crowe]: Yeah, I think all descisions that you make, you made because of yourself, not because of some predetermined destiny.

2004-07-07 [Sirfy]: I'm a strong believer of fate. We chose the paths we take, but that straight path until another choice is to be made, is what we're following.

2004-07-07 [nunt]: but we make choices every single day... each choice, no matter how small, effects our life

2004-07-07 [Yuriona]: And the things that happen to us happen because of the choices we make therefore what happens to us, happens for a reason.

2004-07-07 [Jeesum Crowe]: Sometimes you just can't help it, though, someone does something to you, and that was their choice, and maybe they didn't mean it. I just think things happen as they go, and there's a past to it all but there isn't a future that's for certain.

2004-07-07 [Yuriona]: Agreed...remember, other people's choices effect us too. I wish they didn't sometimes. :( I still think things happen for a reason but that ultimately we are the ones who decide our own fate through our choices.

2004-07-08 [Here's where the story ends]: Good view, [nunt]. I agree, I also happen to think that WE chose our own path and choices, like you said and it DOES effect life. However, sometimes you cannot help chosing paths that are wrong for yourself. Like Jessum pointed out in the last comment. I wish other people's choices didn't too. We are the ones who can change our own path, that is what some people need help to realise. *Winks at Yuriona*

2004-07-08 [Jeesum Crowe]: BWAHAHAHAHAHA I think that conversation is over *ahem*

2004-07-08 [Here's where the story ends]: *choose

2004-07-14 [Raiff]: How about a banner?

2004-07-14 [nunt]: muh!

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Why should cutters stop cutting. My mom, my sisters basically everybody that knows that I cut seems to think its so terrible, but I don't get why. The only person that I'm hurting is myself so why is it so wrong. It seems like the only thing that makes me feel better pisses everyone else off. I don't get it.

2004-07-18 [icarus011]: Your actions hurt the people around you most likely because they care about you. When you hurt yourself, they know that something must be wrong, but you are not turning to them for help. They may start to worry about what this might be, wonder if it will get worse, if the cutting will progress to something more. *shrug* sry, I'm not even a part of this place, just figured I'd putin my two cents....

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Your input is quite welcome [icarus011] and very true. Why is cutting the only thing that makes you feel better [blackfog]?

2004-07-18 [fire sign]: [blackfog] wow-o I feel the same mostly only it changes with my moods and right now I feel the need to tell you (and you can't go hating me now 'cause I thought it was stupid when people told me and I still cut now so><) but every cut killes the people who love you because they think they've failed you...my friend got me a teddy bear and everytime I cut he cut the teddy and sewed him with white string so you could see...it was weird and I felt really bad about it...

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: I know its kind of wierd, but cutting is the only thing that can take away the pain of everything else. I just don't see why its so bad or abnormal. I mean other people do cocaine and thats even worse for you. So why is cutting such a big deal, I mean in the long run it doesn't have any bad effects, just some scars.So I don't see why people flip out about it.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: I agree with you. I don't get why other people care so much. My best friend flips out and dosn't talk to me for a few days after I do it. But he does it too! I don't get it!

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: I was never a cutter myself...I prefered bashing my head against hard, immobile objects like brick walls. For me it was a way to see if I could feel anything else other than hurt and sadness and depression. Totally freaked my boyfriend (now husband) out. Gave me one hell of a headache afterwards though. O_o Personally I'm glad I've found other ways of dealing with my pain.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Many people just can't comprehend the fact that for many of us here, physical pain is a welcome relief to the pain inside. Most people couldn't bring themselves to inflicting such wounds on themselves and see the self-mutilation as an act of despair and self-loathing. And as Icarus mentioned above, if you're willing to slash yourself up in such a matter, how long will it be before you take that ultimate step and end everything? Many of us never realise or understand that there are other people who care and don't want to lose us. Their intervention may be a selfish act to ensure that we stay with them but then again...what is cutting if not a selfish act?

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: How is cutting a selfish act? You're only hurting yourself as long as you prevent others from finding out about it, that was my mistake, getting caught. I've done a lot of selfish things in my life, especially recently,but cutting wasn't one of them. Cutting is the one thing that helps me feel better and forget all the lives I've destroyed. And I actually feel less depressed after I cut, so it probably makes me less likely to end it all.

2004-07-18 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: I must say that I agree with Blackfog.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: By assuming that by cutting, it is only yourself you are hurting. Obviously if people around you are freaking because of your cutting, then it isn't just affecting you now is it? Not to mention that it's all about you - your self-punishment, self-loathing, self-pity. It's all about how YOU are hurting, how it makes YOU feel better, how it helps YOU forget...sounds pretty selfish to me. *shrugs* It's your choice though. Personally I think there are better ways of dealing with the blame and hurt of your actions. How long will it take before just cutting doesn't ease the pain anymore? What will you do then?

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: That is true. I made a mistake by showing peolpe at first now when I cut I only show my best frien because he does it and he dosn't get freaked out.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: And I don't think that it'll lead to me ending my life, for me it's just helps me cope with all my emotional pain. I don't think I could ever actually kill myself.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: You may not think so but the people who care about you aren't convinced of that. Have you ever tried explaining to them why you cut?

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Well its a lot less selfish than suicide and if I didn't cut I'm not sure how much longer I'd last.

2004-07-18 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: "goodnight you moonlight ladies, rockabye sweet baby james, deep greens and blues are the colors i choose, wont you let me go down in my dreams and rockabye sweet baby james." I feel so ancient and so tired of living. I just want to sleep for all eternity.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: I've just gotten to the point where I've stoped trying to explain why I cut and I just hide it

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: People who find out about your cutting don't give a damn why. They just see it as a weakness, a flaw and they want you to stop. They can't wrap there brains around the fact that cutting is a way of relieving pain not causing it.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Maybe Blackfog but not much...especially from someone else's point of view. If cutting is less selfish than suicide, what might be a less selfish way of easing your pain than cutting? Have you thought about trying something else? (Please don't get offended by anything I say or ask guys...I'm truly interested in your perspective. Like I said...I've been there too just did things a bit differently.)

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: I've tried other things but cutting seems to be the only thing that works for me.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: No one's perfect. How many of those who see your cutting as a flaw turn to things like alcohol or drugs or even denial??

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Ancient Carpe Diem? I'm 30...now that's ancient! LOL!! Do you know what 'carpe diem' means out of curiosity?

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: What else is there, before I cut I used to hit myself in the face, is that any better, when I did that all it did was get the stupid social services nazis involved and that wasn't good.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Maybe cutting is selfish, but its a lot better than other reckless behaviors and besides I've messed my life up so bad no the fact that I cut is just icing on the cake so I really don't know why people are so bothered by it.......its probably better than the others things I've done

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Social services mean well but they rarely get their story straight. Dumbasses... lol. Why is physical pain the only thing that seems to help you? I also have a nasty habit of destroying things...you don't want to know how many holes in walls I've had to patch over the years. O_O But it felt good to throw something into a wall, or see something smash into tiny bits. I guess I was still hurting myself in a way...you can really screw up your hands when you punch inanimate objects.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Ok so you've messed up...is it really so bad that there's no getting better?

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Throwing stuff smashing stuff...I've tried it all but in the end I just turn back to cutting.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Everyone hates me. No one trusts me. My own little sisters won't even talk to me, unless they feel like saying something mean. I broke up my family. Lets see,...I was in foster care. I ran away, things got messed up and a really bad thing happened. One of the worst things that can ever happen. And the worst part is that I can't even blame anyone else for whats happened to me because its all my fault. My lies, my mistakes that put me in those places in those positions. I've apologized a thousand times , but it doesn't make it any better. My mom still cries every night because of what I did. No one in my house talks to my and my friends have turned their backs on me. Yeah its bad

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: You know it's funny - I could bash my head against a brick wall until I saw stars or claw myself with my nails until I drew blood but I could never bring myself to actually cut myself. I did have to contend with overpowering urges to slash up other people though. I think that's what lead me to destroying innocent juice bottles and pillows.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: I only do it because I hate everything about myself and my life, can only trust two people in the whole world.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: It took me awhile to build up to cutting. First I just hit my self with objects, lifting weights and stuff, than I used my fists, than I scratched myself with screws and then I finally cut, and just scratches at first, but now I go pretty deep. Just on my upper arms and thighs though, no where dangerous.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: That is bad and sometimes there is no way to go back and fix things. What can you do when apologies don't work?

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: I don't know, I've tried everything, I clean the house every day. I spend all my time trying to make it up to my mom by doing stuff for her, but nothing works, nothing seems to make things right

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: I have only done it on some dangerous spots a few times but they were just scratches that barely bled and barely left scars. Now I cut myself as deep as I can. I have tons of scars, but I like them, I think they're sexy.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: You're very brave for trusting us here at this wiki to talk about your cutting Cassius. *hugs* I have lots of scars too but I don't know about them being sexy but then again, most of them I got by being a tomboy on a farm. LOL! I bet you've got a lot of scars no one can see too...

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Yeah I try to avoid the dangerous spots because generally they are pretty obvious and its hard to cover them up

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Yeah, and that's when people start to try to force you into counsiling and all that shit...

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: All you can do is keep trying Blackfog. I think you're a very strong person for trying.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: My mother and husband still try to get me into therapy even now. It used to royally piss me off that they would even suggest such a thing.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: I've already been forced into counseling for cutting all my other flaws not that it helps any, especially when you can't see the reasons to stop cutting. So now I just lie to the counselor and tell her I don't

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: I was forced to do it durring school because the school would pay for a counseler to come in and talk to all the messed up kids and if you didn't go then they would call your parents.Another reason that Maine sucks!

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Many therapists and counsellors seem to only be interested in 'curing' you and don't give a damn about listening to you. Sometimes all you really need is someone to listen... at least that's how it is for me. I actually sat down and just talked with my family doctor. I had about 6 sessions with her and I was amazed by how good I felt afterwards. She didn't try to analyze my 'problems' or 'cure' me, she just listened.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Mine was court mandated, something about family reconstruction, which is really stupid

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: *rolls her eyes* Like the courts have any business mucking around in family affairs. Sounds like you've been through hell and back Blackfog.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: I know what you mean yuriona. My therapist is all into using big terms and "analyzing my personality" she's also writing a dissertaion for her Phd about the social ladder of teenage girls she keeps asking me questions about that.....annoying.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: through hell......not quite sure if I'm back yet, maybe somewhere inbetween

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Yeah, all that they care about is diagnosing you and then putting you on lots of drugs

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Man I hate people who are only interested in furthering their careers by walking on the backs of others. *scowls*

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Thats the one thing I said the first time I walked in.I told her I refused to take any drugs. I don't believe in taking drugs that mess with the chemistry of the brain.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: LIke the drugs do anything worthwhile. I was lucky...my doctors were reluctant to put me on anything but then again I was well into my 20's before I went to a doctor. The idiots seem to have blinders on when it comes to 'treating' teenagers.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: I don't necessarily agree with you on the cutting issue but I'm starting to think it's better than the drug cocktail these so called 'doctors' prescribe.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Yeah he just started perscribing anti-depressants, although I never take them.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: That's what happens when your salary is being padded by the big pharmaceutical companies. Grrr...

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Yeah and in two days I have to have "an official Phychological analysis" before the court trial. They've had a bout 6 hearings. I don't really know what makes the trial different except that it should at least be the last court proceding, but apparently I have to be psychoanalyzed for it.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Yep I had to do that too so that the counseler could 'treat' me corectly

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: That is an advantage about living in Canada. Public healthcare certainly puts a damper on such kickbacks and since the government regulates your pay, you can't charge some poor guy extra just because you give a fancy diagnosis.

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Not that our therapists are much better. Sigh... at least it minimizes the money factor.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Yeah canada actually seems to care about its citizens, unlike the good old US of A which seems to care more about pleasing the wealthy and the big corporations which provided campaign funds.

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Yep, hopefully I can get out of going to couseling next year.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Not that I know that much about canada, but I live about 1/2 an hour from the border so I've been there quite a bit.

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: As soon as I turn 18 (232 days) I'm not going back

2004-07-18 [Cassius]: Yeah I live about 3 hours from the border but I've only been there a couple of times

2004-07-18 [blackfog]: Mainly just go to Toronto, nice city

2004-07-18 [Yuriona]: Well you're more than welcome to come on up! ^^ We're not perfect by any means but I certainly like it here. LOL!

2004-07-19 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: ive been going to a phsyciatrist since i was 7 and it never really helped i just developed a loathing for them. my last one almost put me on meds... *shudder* i barely escaped

2004-07-19 [Yuriona]: *hugs* I have little respect for those in the medical 'profession' who think the only way to treat someone is by doping them. Since you were 7? Wow...that's a long time.

2004-07-19 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: yea... my mom just dissapeared when i was 5 and ive had some serious issues since then... and now ive just been forbidden to see my girlfriend by h er father cause her sister spyed on us and saw us kissing

2004-07-19 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: i just dont want to live anymore

2004-07-20 [Cougar]: *hugs soon dead/deadly nightshade* you know my friend... about a week ago i was in a hotel that i was so afraid of that i slept with my knife at my bedside... i was wondering where my next job would come from and where i would sleep the next night. Now i am living in a locked up estate with a lake outside my door... I have never in my life felt safer and i have gotten a job in under two weeks. Friend lemme be the first to tell you that things can do a 180 faster than your heart can beat. *hugs you again* just don't feel like giving up... the only reason i have such a good life today is because i didnt give up last week..

2004-07-22 [Erinnn]: hey long time no speak to all of you on here        me and my mum had a serious fight and all the teachers at school wouldnt stop asking me about the bruises on my face i was wondering if anyone knows anything that helps bruises go down? thanks alot

2004-07-22 [Cathos]: Witch hazel works wonders, unless the skin is broken, other wise keep your skin clean and use a moisturiser.

2004-07-22 [Erinnn]: thanks alot i apreciate it

2004-07-22 [Sylvia Rote]: Deadly, her father can't keep you and your gf from seeing eachother for ever. if you really want to be with her and wait just a little longer, I'm sure you two can be together, whether her fatherlikes it or not.

2004-07-26 [Cassius]: Don't worry [Our Lady of Sorrow] it will all work out between you and your gf. My parents "took me away" from my boyfriend last year. It was hard but we're still together.

2004-07-27 [Raiff]: I highly recommend 'Darkness Visible' by William Styron, an easy going book with a lot of sense.Very light compared to books like Prozac nation or Head full of Blue :-)

2004-07-29 [Cassius]: Does anyone know how long it takes belly button piercings to heal?

2004-07-29 [Cougar]: o.O donno pends on the person really if you are a fast or a slow healer

2004-07-29 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: i dk... like me... it would only take about a day or two. my boyfreind... only a few hours... my best freind... a few weeks...

2004-07-30 [Cathos]: For peircings I'd say 6-8 weeks, while keeping it disinfected and twisting the bar to stop it sticking. Just a quick note, I have a new doctor and she's putting me on all sorts of different meds. At the moment, we think I might have IBS or a form of fibromyalgia. Fibromyalgia involves the symptoms of IBS, lots of pain, depression and lack of sleep, all of which I have. These are the first possible diagnoses I've had in a while, so I'm quite excited!

2004-07-30 [Cathos]: *hugs [Our Lady of Sorrow] and anyone else who needs a hug*

2004-07-31 [Imraith-Nymphial]: why does a broken heart hurt more than any other injury

2004-07-31 [fire sign]: I need one.. because you can't fix it

2004-07-31 [Erinnn]: imraith...... the heart will only heal once you have found someone else to occupy your time with

2004-07-31 [Cathos]: I always find that bubble baths and copious amounts of chocolate and red wine help in the short term while you get over the shock.

2004-08-01 [fire sign]: why is death so hard to let go of?

2004-08-01 [Yuriona]: Because it seems so final...no more second chances, just an ending. No one knows what is beyond that final doorway once our lives end.

2004-08-01 [fire sign]: I want him back *sobs*

2004-08-06 [Yuriona]: I know you do *hugs* It's never easy to lose a loved one. It always seems there were things you should have said, or things you wanted to do with them that you won't be able to now. It's like a part of you died with them. Personally I believe though that death isn't the end, just a doorway to a new existence. I think too that if you leave yourself open in your heart and mind, your loved ones will still make their presence known to you. I just gave birth to my second daughter last week and I know my grandmother, who was like a mom to me, came and visited. I know it hurts, I know it seems final but as long as you remember him and love him, he will always be with you. *hugs*

2004-08-06 [Crimson Angel]: I added a link to my wiki The Lonely and Forgotten I hope that was ok.

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: ....I think I need someone to talk to before I do something stupid...

2004-08-07 [Cathos]: If you're still on-line, I'm here if you wan to talk. *hugs*

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: yes I am...

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: I'm here too.

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: well..things just..went down the drain for my relationship...

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: What happened?

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: ...well, he said he wanted to marry me, and I said I am to young to marry him now...and then he got mad becuase I said I was 4 months older than I am...and now he wont even look at me. I love this person and....its breaking my heart every time he doesnt look or talk to me.

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: I'm surprised that he got so upset over just 4 months. That seems to be a pretty small thing to get mad over. I think you were very smart to say you weren't old enough for marriage. Marriage changes everything and sadly for some, it's more a way to make sure you stay faithful rather than an act of love.

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: ...well actually it could be considered an act of love...since we have known and been in love with one another for so very long. But...damn it all! hes just...oye..-sighs down and cries- noramlly i wouldnt fret over something like this, but look at me! i shoulndt me be like this....

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: Well I'm glad for that. *hugs* It's all right to be upset. It's completely understandable. I've been married for nearly 5 years now and I still get really upset when my husband gets mad at me - even over stupid things. It sounds like there's more going on here than just him being mad over your age though. Did it all start when you told him about not wanting to marry right away or have you guys been having trouble for a while now?

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: No trouble until the age thing. He also said he was going to come up here and talk to my mother about marrying me...-sighs- oye...and nows hes writing her a letter...

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: That is the honourable thing to do. *hugs* I guess he's probably more upset that you lied to him than he is about your age. It really hurts when someone you deeply love hides the truth from you. Finding out about it can be devestating. Trust is a very fragile thing and can be easily shattered, even by something as seemingly small like this.

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: I know...-oye-

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: It'll be ok. If he's really determined to marry you, I don't think this breech of trust will break you up. You may just have to wait until he gets over it which can be agonizing.

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: It will...he just sent my mother a letter asking her something I dony know about...

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: I'm sure you will find out about it eventually. You'll just have to wait. In the meantime, I think you and your boyfriend should try and talk things out. I know he's really mad at you right now and doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with you but trust me, talking it out will make you both feel better. One of the most important things in a long term relationship is communication as well as trust and love though it can be a much harder thing to do - especially when you're angry at one another. *hugs*

2004-08-07 [eyes of frost]: thanks...-hugs- I have to go...imtired and I need some sleep...thanks again.

2004-08-07 [Yuriona]: You're quite welcome. *HUGS* That's what I'm here for.

2004-09-16 [Sirfy]: Update: I've gotten better with my emotions. I recently got pissed for the first time in a long time, which resulted in alot of depression and anger. Again I couldn't control my emotions just like always. I have, just 2 days ago, found out how I can properly meditate to help me :) New relationship problems have ocurred that have cause alot of my current depressions. Hope you all are doing fine :)

2004-09-16 [Paul Doyle]: Off-subject, but I am very worried about [EmJ Taylor]. Nobody on council and assembly has seen her in two weeks, which is uncharacteristic of her. O_o

2004-09-16 [Yuriona]: She's been having a really rough time as of late paul. I finally heard from her a couple of nights ago on MSN.

2004-09-16 [Estantia]: I've got a truestory that I would like people to read, where should I put it?

2004-09-16 [Yuriona]: Stories of Survival is probably the place to put it.

2004-09-18 [Erinnn]: *poke*

2004-09-19 [Imraith-Nymphial]: has anyone seen [Ascelin], he was talking suicide last night?

2004-09-19 [Yuriona]: According to his house, he was here 5 minutes ago.

2004-09-19 [eyes of frost]: OMG....my brother is missing...he called us drunk lost and crying saying we didnt love him...i dont know what to do....-sits down and crys-

2004-09-19 [Imraith-Nymphial]: thanks

2004-09-19 [Erinnn]: heylo everybody

2004-10-11 [Janouk]: Hey [eyes of frost], what's going on now? I hope things worked out again...

2004-10-12 [eyes of frost]: yea they did...I am feeling better, although I still want to wring my brothers neck...and thanks..

2004-10-12 [Cathos]: Does anyone have advice on stopping friends drinking themselves into gibbering heaps, other than hiding the drink that is? My friend Nichola does it every week or so and it can't be good for her.

2004-10-12 [eyes of frost]: You could go and break it all...or bring her "out" and bring her to a rehab center. Or you can take her out to dinner and talk to her about it

2004-10-15 [Janouk]: Hey, can someone give me some advice about this? I've got this friend and well...we're both pretty depressed all the time, though from the outside, no one can see most of the time. Last year things didn't go to well with her, and she ate stuff like paint remover, as attempts to kill herself. Yesterday I heard her say she still eats chemical things like that, and that she just did it again the day before. She found herself having blood in her mouth that night, but she didn't know if it was from her teeth or from inside her. I went to walk with her in the parc today to ask her more about it, cause things have to stop! As I said, we are both pretty depressed at times,

2004-10-15 [Janouk]: but I think she's more close to leaving this world than I am. I even suggested to throw her in the cold lake right away, and she had no problem with that at all..I think she's to judge about her own body, but I just can't watch her suffering this much and I'm really scared she will do it someday. Every time the phone rings I keep thinking that might be her parents to tell me that she comitted suicide. And when I lost sight of her earlier today, I honestly thought she went to the parc again to dissapear forever. I know this might be overreacted, but I just want to help her so much..Can someone tell me how I can make her stop eating that chemical things for a start?

2004-10-15 [Weedy]: i dunno if this is a good idea but it worked for me once....... i have a friend who was very much like what you describe....... well i said to her if she wanted to doe so much i would kill her...... she said she diden care so i choked her for a 30-40 seconds and when i finally let go she was so relived she was still alive...... sometimes people just need to see that life is better than death........ but then i dunno if its good advice......

2004-10-15 [Janouk]: Well, I did think about that, but I don't think I dare to take the risk. I DID almost throw her in the lake, but I guess I just don't dare to do it. And somehow I really think she wouldn't be to shocked if I'd choke her....I'll think about it. Thanks!

2004-10-15 [Erinnn]: hi again you guys, theres been a few complications here i just start cutting up my arms loosing blood like everynight and i dont even no the reason why im hurting this much ;.;

2004-10-16 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: ive started starving myself and cutting now... i dk why its all come back again... *sigh* ;.;

2004-10-16 [Sheona]: To both [Erinnn] and [Our Lady of Sorrow]: The important thing is not to get yourself worked up over it. Everyone has setbacks and hiccups. You're allowed to have bad days. Just keep believing in yourself, because in the long run you can get better. It's hard, but it's within your reach. Has anything happened to trigger it?

2004-10-17 [Cassius]: It's a really hard habbit to break. What I've been doing lately is whenever I feel like cutting myself I think of someone that really cares about me. And I think about how much it hurts him, and I don't know but I guess it works. I havent cut myself in a record of 2 1/2 months

2004-10-20 [Sheona]: It is a very hard habit to break. For me, it was on the same level as my addiction to alcohol. Everyone has different methods for quitting. I find that to stop myself from cutting, I need to talk to someone. Whenever I feel the need to cut again, I talk instead. Of course, there are times when there is no one, like in the middle of the night. That's when my way of coping falls through :(

2004-10-20 [Erinnn]: my only way of coping is to eiter come on elftown but when no one's on i try to listen to music or if there is nothing then i go bk to cutting

2004-10-20 [Cathos]: I don't mind chatting if you can't find any of your usual people. Try setting up an account with yahoo and using this site http://launch.yahoo.com/launchcast It'll ask you what you like, then play it for you for free.

2004-10-20 [Sheona]: I'm around to talk to alot of the time. I know what it feels like when there's no one around to talk to :(

2004-10-21 [Cassius]: I agree that it is a hard habbit to break. I've been trying to stop for like 4 years...I think, I honestly can't remember when I started

2004-10-23 [Erinnn]: yeah

2004-11-03 [eyes of frost]: Hey everyone. I again...need some help. My friend Jessika is...well she is a cutter, and she doesnt know what to do. I am talking o her about it and that, and I have told her that she should get help, but when It alk abotu that she just doesnt talk to me anymore. Its like she clams up or something. What should I say?

2004-11-03 [Cathos]: It might help her to talk over how you're coping with your problems. It sounds to me like she's comfortable talking to you, but she doesn't want to share it with anyone else, let alone her parents/ a doctor etc.

2004-11-04 [Sheona]: To be fair, I didn't manage to control my cutting until I started seeing a counsellor, so recommend this to your friend. Offer to go with her if she needs the emotional support, as going alone can seem very daunting. Also, she needs to realise that cutting is not as unhealthy as many people think. Others often turn to alcohol or cigarettes when stresed. In comparison to such methods, which ultimately kill you, cutting isn't so bad! So don't make her feel that she's doing anything wong. If she wants to stop cutting, without any pressure from anyone else, help her find an alternative means of coping. For example, talking is all very well but sometimes we need instant relief...

2004-11-04 [Sheona]: ...Talking isn't an option in the middle of the night for most people! Unless you don't mind being called in the small hours, you need to find something she can do to help her last until morning. I find playing an instrument relaxes me. Others prefer writing. Help her research and explore different possibilities. The important point is not to force her to do anything she feels uncomfortable with. Just show that she has your support, no matter what she chooses to do. That support counts for more than anything else. Also, people find it easier to talk to someone who has been through it themselves, and listening to them talk about what they went through can sometimes help others to open up :)

2004-11-08 [Cathos]: I have reported to the guards about this page being deleted, so if everyone could leave it how it is and let them deal with it, that would be great.

2004-11-08 [Yuriona]: I reported it as well but nothing has been done as of yet. The guards must be swamped.

2004-11-08 [Mitsune]: [panda are cool] has erased three other wikis I know about... passwords should be put on. He or she is so gonna get banned... when the guards find out. ;P

2004-11-08 [Cougar]: Well all they have to do is look back at the other versions of the page to see that panda are cool deleted it. PAGE VERSION 85 is the page that says it was deleted by [panda are cool]

2004-11-08 [Cougar]: and page version 84 as well

2004-11-08 [Cathos]: I think I tracked down his deviant art account. Theres a gif in his house thats from the private pics of a deviant artist. In his deviant journal, he claims to have the problems that we are trying to help with here. I think he's been a member at ET before, been banned and has started up a new user. [panda are cool] is only a few days old.

2004-11-08 [TheRogue]: I am banning all of the accounts associated with pandas.

2004-11-09 [Cougar]: Now now that isn't right... *laughs* poor marcness. not all the panda people are ebil...

2004-11-09 [Erinnn]: i love you guys , youvehelped me soo much in the past

2004-11-12 [TheRogue]: keep it up idiots. I know where you live.

2004-11-12 [Yuriona]: There... fixed... XD

2004-11-12 [TheRogue]: password protecting page. Yuriona, You may be the keeper of the wiki in my absence if you don't mind..

2004-11-12 [Cathos]: I recommend molecular dispersal for fools such as these. What is it now, twice in less than a week?

2004-11-12 [Yuriona]: Sure. ^^ I'm here practically everyday.

2004-11-17 [Sirfy]: see me last diary entry :( I don't feel like typing it again...but maybe someone here can help me...

2004-11-20 [Sirfy]: or not

2004-11-22 [TheRogue]: read your diary. which posting are you talking about? message me if you want...

2004-11-22 [Janouk]: Marc, I just wanted to thank you for starting up this wiki. I am sure it has already helped a lot of people and will continue to do so in the future.

2004-11-22 [Sirfy]: I needed help at that time, never got a responce from here, but I might have gotten some things solved...Right now I'm just really down, me and my bf just broke up a few minutes ago...over 2 years i jsut left behind. We saw it comming, but i didn't think it would hurt so bad. The guy I really like...I'm still trying to see if things might work between us...that part of the story which I needed advice on is in my diary...I'll check the date of it and get back to you

2004-11-22 [Sirfy]: Its the 4th one down. (was the 3rd...but I'm about to write in it now)

2004-11-26 [Erinnn]: *poke*

2004-11-27 [Sirfy]: Hehe, Seems odd eh? I am planning to major in being a Psycologist, yet I have a hard time solving my own problems...anything I can help you with pyro?

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: You know what you should do, this is what I do everyday. I put my razor in a case...and I look at it. I look at it for hours sometimes. But Instead of taking it out, I look at it. And I think, that really it causes more pain then relief.(sp). Its like a high when you cut...and if you can take out that one high...it would make everything so much better. And instead of cutting...there is talking, like to an inatimate object(i do this alll the time hehe). There is talking to someone you know that won't tell anyone else.

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: ((all that was to pyro)) You can take out your stresses on writng...drawing...or painting. It doesnt matter if you think you can't sdo it. You should do it becuase it helps. Trust me. I know.

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: Maybe. But take my advice...cutting does do more hurt than healing.

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: You are welcome. If you need any other help you can message me privatly, or email me. I will be glad to help you. my email:silent_lover_of_night@yahoo.com

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: No, I don't think it will. I come in and talk about all of my problems...but I think, that even councelers have problems and need to talk about them. And talking to someoe in need...you can use your personal experiences to help them along. Well thats what I think anyways

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: You can. But it takes time to get over your own issues to be able to talk to someone else...

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: Well thats good. No one needs to know unless you tell them. It is your personal business and not thier's.

2004-11-27 [Sirfy]: It won't jerperdise it. I know I'm not the only one who can help solve anyone elses problems but their own. It's different when you are on the other end of the problem.

2004-11-27 [eyes of frost]: Yea.

2004-11-28 [whispered_pain]: *sits down and begins juggling his knives while watching pyro*

2004-11-30 [TheRogue]: sorry it takes so long for me to get in here and read.. Sirfy i'm still listening. :) You would be suprised how many people choose psychology and they have alot of troubles psychologically.. some do it to help understand themselves better, some do it because they have a deeper grasp on the inside and outs of psychology from their own experiences.. i hope that you fare well and keep it together.. be back soon. :)

2004-11-30 [Cathos]: I studied some phsychology at school in order to, yes, understand a bit better and so that I was better placed to help people so that they wouldn't have to go through the same things as me.

2004-11-30 [Sirfy]: I want to study it and become a psycologist because I love helping people. I just wish I could do more of it.

2004-12-01 [whispered_pain]: helping people?? do you realize how many people go unhelped?? *throws them higher them catches each one through his wrist*

2004-12-01 [Yuriona]: Many people go unhelped because they don't ask for it either because they don't think they need it or they're too frightened. Some folks just don't know who to turn to for help. So many people suffer alone...

2004-12-01 [whispered_pain]: so true and you cant even see it until its too late sometimes * slowly pulls and twistes each dagger till they come out then watches the blood drip with a smile*

2004-12-01 [Sirfy]: Which is why I created Counselors of Elftown so I can try and help those people. It seems alot of "down" people go to elftown, since I seen alot, so I wanted to try and help alot of them. My wiki goes un-noticed though, lol.

2004-12-02 [whispered_pain]: a lot of wikis do *pulls out a dagger and slowly sticks it through and twists it* isnt blood beautiful

2004-12-02 [Cathos]: *applies a soothing and healing yarrow compress to [whispered_pain]..... all over*